Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Romance Isn't Dead It's Just Been Dormant

Okay, the girls were sitting around and talking yet again about our respective love lives and lack thereof for some. There were many topics discussed but when we hit on the "romance" part of a relationship, we all agreed on one thing. Romance as it was in olden days isn't dead but it sure is dormant. There are so many things about the days of old that we all liked in general such as women being cherished and protected and COURTED! When was the last time a man actually kissed your hand, defended your honor or wrote you a love letter? On the other hand, women were kind of like chattel in those days too and her money and worldly goods were in the hands of her husband, whether she liked it or not. At best, a woman had a wonderful, loving and faithful husband, at worst, well, you can just imagine. With arranged marriages being the norm back then, a woman could only hope for the best. and try to accept her lot in life.

Today it is a whole new realm and while our little group would secretly liked to be swept off of our feet by the man of our dreams, women in general are much more realistic. It doesn't hurt to hope that you'll find a romantic or that your partner will magically "get a clue" and turn into your prince charming, however, sometimes you have to gently nudge them into that direction. Remember, men normally act by example since they are visual creatures, they imitate what they have seen. My father was very romantic and always brought candy and flowers for my mom on special days and sometimes just because he loved her so much. This continued up until his death and my brothers have grown up to be very similar to him, which warms my heart. Personally, it makes the men in my generation pale in comparison because very few know how to treat a lady, or so it seems nowadays. Oh, I'll agree that most know the basics but do they practice it? Occasionally, yes, routinely, NO. That is probably why I always dated men 20 years or more older than I was, because older men just had class, a sense of style and panache.

Our discusion made us wonder if we, as women have failed both our male and female children in not forcing them to behave in a manner befitting their gender. Men should be gentleman and women should be ladies and also expect to be treated as such. We also need to teach a good lesson in reciprocity and that although it is better to give than receive, you should not keep giving and never expect to be treated the way you treat others. Accepting less than you are worth will only end with you feeling emotionally depleted. Demand your worth in every facet of your life; you friendships, relationships, career and life. Always remember two things: 1. If you don't respect yourself, neither will anyone else. 2. No one can treat you like a doormat until you first lie down.

Here are our top things that we value as "romantic" things we love.

  1. Love letters and note cards. Hearing someone say "I love you" is wonderful but when someone takes the time to show it, even in something so simple, it means the world to us.

  2. Nothing spells romance like CHOCOLATE and the giving of chocolate goes back centuries. These days it doesn't have to be chocolate, it can be any confection.

  3. Flowers are the language of love and express so much to so many. Roses have been the norm for many years and are a good bet, however, with the gorgeous array of exotic flowers and colors, doing something different scores huge points. And ladies, when was the last time you send your partner flowers? Men appreciate things like that too.
  4. Well, this one is my favorites - LINGERIE! Yeah, it is suggestive but when a man takes the time to give you lingerie, and we mean NICE lingerie, well, hang onto him. I've always loved lingerie, especially silk and even if no one else saw it, it made me feel sexy and feminine just wearing it. Lingerie today is some of the most beautiful ever and many designers are looking back into the past for their inspirations. Today it is fun, funky, opinionated, feminine and sexy.

  5. How long has it been since someone wrote a poem or song for you? Have you ever been serenaded? People appreciate talent; just look at the shows on television these days that are such hits: American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing With The Stars, etc. Everyone roots for their favorite and why not? Sometimes what people cannot say in words, they can write even more beautifully.
  6. Does your man know you enough to buy you a piece of clothing or an accessory that will melt your heart? How many of us would trust our other half to wardrobe us? Heck, do they even know what size you are, you favorite color, designer, etc? Give your love 50 bonus points if he notices when you change your hair or an outfit that he likes. Showing that you appreciate the attention to it encourages him to repeat it again.

  7. Compliments are something that men in the past and present have over-used but presently seem to be a lot more stingy with. Always say thank you when complimented because someone took the time out of their life to do so. It doesn't matter if you know the person or not, as long as it is done in a tasteful manner, you should always acknowledge a compliment.

  8. Ooh la la, JEWELRY. Most women love jewelry, especially ones with diamonds; after all they are a girl's best friend. With the wonderful colors that they come in and their popularity, you just can't lose out. We polled ourselves and found that diamonds, although they rank high, were not our collective favorite. Some of the others that we liked were: tourmaline, sapphire, lemon and whiskey topaz, apatite, spinel and garnet. A lot of these come in more than one color, adding to their interest and beauty.
  9. Time is something very valuable in our ever increasing fast paced world. When someone gives you their time they are "gifting" it to you. It is something that can never be replaced, so cherish it as the gift it is.
  10. The art of KISSING is another matter altogether. I believe that women are tougher on this aspect than men are. Women love to be kissed passionately, sometimes gentle and soft, sometimes hard and demanding. A good kisser is worth 1000 points in our book. The right kiss can say everything and show immense feeling.
  11. Pampering is something we get so little of and give ourselves even less. I always believed in pampering myself and buying something really extravagant at least once a year. Most likely no one will ever pamper you in your lifetime, so why not do it yourself? If you are lucky enough to be pampered, just remember to return the favor.
Here are our favorite discoveries relating to our top eleven!


Personalized Paisley Fabric 4 x 6 Brag Book Photo Album by irisandlily makes a wonderful gift; uniquely different are these kimono cards made with vintage kimono fabrics in various themes at Kimonocards.com

One of our favorites was this Personalized wedding card by katierae Original along with these pinhole enclosure cards set of five - pastel colors by hrsmithjones

Simplyembellish makes custom personalized stationary and lovely cards.


1/2 lb Pomegranate Homemade Caramels 8 oz by earcmra and chocolate chip cookies from bearsbakedgoods

Homemade Chocolate Marshmallows by sweetiepiedelights

PMS CUPCAKE AKA CHOCOLATE OVERLOAD(tm) by fatdaddybakeshop and Chocolate dipped potato chips by worthafortune


Cascading bouquet by foreveryoursflowers and Three Piece Wool Felt Calla Lily Flower Sculptures - Bridal Bouquet Ivory White Green by pollyposy

White Rose Bridal Bouquet by cicibridal look amazing alongside the Wedding Cake Silk Flowers - Cake Topper Arrangement in Calla Lilies and Orchids by mysilkgarden

Artificial Pinks and Cream Flowers by thecurvycrafter and 12 pcs Satin Flower with Beads - Purple by creativecraftcentral are both breathtaking.


Vintage French Silk Jacquard Corset by salvation Romantic Getaway Nightie from valeriellen

Vintage Vanity Fair Tricot Nightgown by thequeenofre, Pale lilac ruffled lace open bottom gartered girdle, burlesque by vintageopulence and Peach silk slip made by Rubypearl

Sweet and Sexy Vintage Pink Sweeping Nightgown Robe Peignoir Set by weebitused rivals this Kayser Pink Vintage 60s Chiffon Negligee Nightgown w/Lace from longagomemories


Romantic Bridal Gown Medievil Fantasy Couture Reeinactment Fairy Wedding Dress by kathleencrowley ; we went crazy over this Diaphenous gray sparrow dress - special order your size by makool

devilmademedoit shows off with Let Me Call You Sweetheart , and Ibiza Gown Pink (size 2-8) by aidahcollection

Cascading Ruffles of Lovelieness and Fun Dress by poshpanache and Hummingbird halter dress by birdapparel

hollystalder does incredible work as you can see here Pale - gold tunic dress with silk ribbon detail and Vintage Bronze with Lace Dress by JessicaRoseCouture

Sexy Crochet Bra Top with Babydoll Style B Cup from lazyTcrochet and Spring white and blue coat by hacker


Wonderful shell bag by creationsbyeve and fabulous hat by jakenash00

Precious Metals Wedding Hair Flower Accessory by Mikiye and Simplylin's elegant hair comb

fabulous quilted retro handbag from Sidquilts and Blossom in winter wonderful leaf scarf by 1000roads on etsy


Tango shoes in bronze by cerapersa and Love Necklace --- Sterling Silver by distinque is amazing

beautiful freshwater pearl coral shell bracelets by deerwomandesigns and Secret garden necklace by elnorrigb

Ruby quartz and lampwork bracelet by jjmckillip, stunning empty bowl bracelet by melaniehazen

incredible turn of the century diamond jeweled locket by vintagerehab, Sundial ring by arieltelsa


Lark's Spicy Footy Salve by omshanti looks good enough to taste, Calendula - Fragranced Soap with Organic Flower Petals by soapsense

Shea Creamy Sugar Scrub by TCandCompany is the perfect thing for you. They have spa night kits especially made to pamper. What delightful glasses to sip wine from: Set Of Two Painted Wine Glasses Berry Red, White, Gold, Green by marysworkshop

Beach Days Goat Milk Button Soap by hellocrafty and Lovely in lilac soy candle by jehan


Katie said...

Thanks for featuring me! Love the blog! www.katierae.etsy.com

Anonymous said...

You guys rock. :) I'm with you on the romance thing -- it's probably been ten years since someone's given me flowers!

Johnny Ong said...

interesting write up on the said topic

Lugdevine said...

This was such great advice! It really is true that clothing- especially indie clothing- can lift your spirits! Thanks for the tip. I usually check out http://www.ustrendy.com for mine.